Thinking Gray

In the wake of the Jordan Peterson interview on UK's Channel 4 news, it became obvious that the distinction between listening and hearing needs to be addressed, especially where emotional political issues are concerned. There were multiple instances in which the interviewer (Cathy Newman) asks, "so what you mean is..." and made a statement that was in no way, shape, or form what Dr. Peterson had said. It's so funny, it's meme-worthy . Watch the full interview if you're interested; I'm not particularly keen on dissecting it in great depth because that's been done all over the internet already! On a more personal level, this sort of misunderstanding occurs on a daily basis with friends, partners, colleagues, etc. Just last week, this happened: My partner said to my friend: "it's interesting, as you get older you become more conservative" My friend: "not me!" and seemed slightly offended I laughed: "Jane, what di...

This seems to be something people struggle with on a daily basis - how do I stop feeling sad? how do I stop feeling anxious? how do I feel happier? As with everything in life, the answer is both simple and complex . You are more in control of your emotions than you think, but it's more complicated than flicking a light switch and ta-da!  altering how you feel. (yep, if only it could be like Vampire Diaries where we could just turn our 'humanity switch' off... now you know my secret guilty pleasure, don't judge) This post, however, is about something slightly different; it's not about how to control your emotions, or how to stop them happening, it's about how to solve the 'problems' they cause. By ' problems ' I mean the discomfort you feel when you're in the throes of sadness, resentment, anger, frustration, guilt... We have labelled these emotions as 'negative' (read: 'bad') and we are uncomfortable when we feel ...

Perfectionism is a mindset . Perfection is an outcome . Simple. (Does this mean I'll finally write something short and concise?... You can always hope!) ...So what's the point of this blog? Well, I once had someone say to me, "I can't be a perfectionist, nothing I do is perfect!" after telling me how worried they were about a bazillion things they felt they couldn't do to a perfect standard. See the problem ? If you confuse the mindset with the outcome, you misrepresent the issue and end up trying to find a solution to a different problem. (Huh?) If you believe that the mindset of perfectionism only describes people who achieve perfect outcomes, you don't see yourself as a " perfectionist ". Instead, you focus your anxiety on your ability to do things (and engage in harsh self-judgement as a result). E.g. "I can't do things perfectly, so I cannot be a perfectionist... the problem is that I just can't [do X] as well...