Thinking Gray

"Our deepest fear is not that we are inadequate. Our deepest fear is that we are powerful beyond measure. It is our light, not our darkness, that most frightens us. We ask ourselves, 'who am I to be brilliant, gorgeous, talented, and fabulous?' Actually, who are you not to be ? Your playing small does not serve the world. There is nothing enlightened about shrinking so that other people will not feel insecure around you. It is not just in some of us; it is in everyone and as we let our own light shine, we unconsciously give others permission to do the same. As we are liberated from our own fear, our presence automatically liberates others ." - Marianne Williamson. This quote is something I never really understood until recently. Why would success frighten me? Why would being great at something stop me from doing it? If I was brilliant, why would I shrink away from that? I was thinking very superficially ; i.e. success is good, therefore I want to succeed, ther...

Last week I posted Part 1 , which focused on sparking curiosity about what you value and prioritise . I wanted to get you thinking about the choices that you’re making and whether those choices are helping you or hindering you from living your best life. Often we choose to allocate our money and/or time to things other than therapy because we consider therapy a luxury, not a necessity. Part 1 considered some possible explanations for this, which I will build on here by considering fear as an emotional driver: Fear of failure,  fear of success , and  fear of having your belief systems (and identity) challenged .  As I mentioned in Part 1, therapy works on long-term commitment and change - it took you a number of years to become the person that you are, so immediate change is unlikely and, if it does miraculously happen, often unsustainable. This is akin to starting an exercise and diet program; it is unlikely to produce results after 2-3 gym sessions, and...

This post is something I have wanted to write for a while, but I've been scared to because it's a bit controversial. I kept thinking, " if I articulate this incorrectly people will get offended ", but the reality is, even if I articulate it correctly, people are likely to get offended because I'm expressing an idea about a common reason for not seeking help. (Also, my entire job consists of questioning people's (and my own) beliefs - and I find most people are receptive to this, even if they need a week or two to come around!!) Part 1 will consider a few different ideas: (1) Necessary choices; (2) Long-term investment vs. short-term gratification; (3) Investment in what we deserve. So, here goes... Therapy is often considered a luxury item; that is, it's something we struggle to find money for in our budget. (Now, I'd like to highlight that I'm not saying money is not an issue. Money, or lack thereof, is a huge concern for all of us,...

This post is inspired by a conversation I recently had with a friend, who (luckily) gave me permission to share the story (and, even luckier for me, was brave enough to come and speak to me about what had happened, instead of risking losing the friendship!). We'll call her J. Where it started... J and I were speaking about priorities and where we choose to put our money/time/energy and I made a comment that, in my opinion, having your nails done is an unnecessary expense. Now, J enjoys having her nails done (they look much, much nicer than my half bitten, been-playing-in-the-dirt-with-my-son nails!) and this expense is written into her budget because it's important to her. I knew this about J, but didn't think anything of my comment because she is very confident, knows who she is, and is proud of it - as she should be, she's a fantastic person who has worked very hard in every aspect of her life. I assumed that my opinion on this matter wouldn't carry much w...